Breakfast of Champions...

Greetings, my lovelies, on this nearly bright Tuesday morning!  This is what I had for breakfast.  It was meant to be my dessert last night, but I had a migraine, in its place.  Go me!  I think it may have been worth the wait, though...because I think I may not have snapped a picture of it last night.  And I would be sadly unable to blog about it.  And what would my life be then? And yours?  Lacking, for certain.

Anyway, while this may seem highly inappropriate for breakfast, this is from the woman who would gladly eat pie or ice cream in place of more common breakfast goods.  Such as cereal or *gasp* toast!  But, before you cry "but it's whipped cream" at me, know that it actually isn't.  It's home-made greek honey yogurt.  I'd like to claim I made the yogurt -- which is on my to-do list -- but I bought it at Whole Pay Check (tm).  I did however mix in Honey, a teeny tiny bit of agave and some vanilla extract.  It's a much cheaper way of getting the yogurt we love without having to spend as much or visit multiple grocery stores.

As far as the fruit goes.  *giggles maniacally*  This is soooo good!  I cored and sliced strawberries.  Macerated them with sugar, a splash of orange juice, some vanilla extract and some orange zest!  They are ridiculous, and should be illegal.  In fact, I'm sure they are in like three counties.  But I don't care.  Because they're delicious.  Very.

At any rate, I am loving all the comments my giveaway post is receiving.  This makes me a happy person.  Which is what you want.  Well, it's what I want in any case.  There's just a couple more days left to sign up, so go...leave a comment.  I promise I won't bite.  Mostly.  On a good day.  Haha!

Happy Tuesday!
~j.b.

Worse for Wear...

This whole house-buying...thing...can be, at times, irritating and exhausting.  I recently received an email from the Under Writer wanting "satisfactory" explanations of things I didn't think anybody knew let alone needed explained.  Everything from why my Husband has two last names -- we both hyphenated when we got married -- to an explanation as to why Jon lived at my parents' house at one point.  Which, by the way, he never did, so I don't know why they think he did.

My initial reaction to these "requests", which read more like demands, was shock.  Then fear!  It felt like a trap.  As though if I answered any of these incorrectly, the possibility of the house would be yanked out from under us.  So, lots and lots of pressure was being heaped onto my shoulders.  But, I was putting it there.  Which is quite common for me to do when I'm already stressed.

Then, after speaking with our Loan Officer, and hearing her explain that it seemed a lot worse than it actually was, and even she was confused as to why they needed some of the info they are asking for, I feel much lighter and not quite so stressed out.  Basically, they just need us to prove we are who we say we are, and let them know we don't have any unaccounted-for debt they don't know about.  Basic stuff, honestly.  I've just never bought a house, and I was young enough when my parents bought their current house that I wasn't privy to everything they had to sign and seal.  Thank god!  If it freaks me out this much now, I can't imagine what it'd have done at 17 years old!  Good grief! 

Wow, I feel so much better getting all these feelings out in the world.  It's much nicer than leaving them cooped up in my head.  They're much less powerful, now.  Which is good.  I really think the feelings we hold onto, and the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, can be very powerful in terms of manifesting things, situations, and events in our lives.  We so completely want this house.  It will be such a good move for us, and fulfill a good number of dreams we've had.  And I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize our ability to obtain this house.  This is why I write.  To lighten my mood, and release stress.  So I don't carry it with me day after day.  It can get very heavy, very quickly.

Alright.  Thank you for listening.  I am so (!) happy to see everyone popping over to say hello.  It means the world to me.  Thank you all.

Happy Stress-Free Thursday Night,
~j.b.

Rain, rain...every day!

The weather has been lovely here.  And by lovely, I mean rainy and dark and dreary and beautiful.  I absolutely love this weather.  I always have.  It was this type of weather that first started me writing poetry -- along with serious depression -- and I've always had a thing for Lightening storms.  I think they're magical and powerful.  

This weather makes me want to curl up in a blanket -- hand made, of course -- and knit or read...or write.  Just depends on the mood I'm in.  It's also great tea weather.  Which is my beverage of choice.  I just found Teavana, and it's pretty much heaven in a cup.  Or a pot. Which is how I make it.  I drink a lot of tea.

I stopped by today, on this dreariest of dreary days to let you, my readers and followers, know that I am going to be having a give-away in the next couple days.  And it's going to be a wonderful one.  I'll be posting it as soon as Jamie, over at Scissors & Steam finishes her's up.  After you've received her give-away (lucky lucky) head on over here and check out mine.  I'm quite excited about it, and you'll all love it too.  

I'll give you a hint.  *whispers* it's going to contain fiber!!!

Make sure you pass that on.  And I'll see you all soon.  

Happy beautiful rainy Tuesday,

~j.b.

Suck it up? Really, is that necessary?

I spend entirely too much a bit of time on Pinterest (link opens in new window).  And I have noticed a sad, sad trend recently -- beside the stupid silly bucklist pins.  I have been seeing a lot of pins suggesting that the only way to loose weight and get in shape is to be not only hard on yourself, but down right mean to yourself.  This is something I don't particularly like, and it's something I have been working very hard at not doing to myself.  This pin is what inspired me to write this post today.  The person who created this photo, I imagine is a very angry person.  Either angry at her/himself or just angry at the world and all its people in general. 

As the New Year is well under way, and reducing the amount of anger I feel toward myself is one my primary goals this year, this really makes me sad.  Anger is not the motivation I want to use to accomplish things in my life.  All this does is leave me feeling wiped out before I even begin, and in the end.  Then, even if my goal is accomplished I still feel like crap about myself.  So I ask you, what is the point of this?

To shame oneself into action?  Does this really work for any length of time?  It might get you to act in the moment, but action will become increasingly difficult to achieve without also increasing the damage you're doing to your self esteem. 

As I begin to climb down from my soap box, here, I will leave my readers with one final thought.  Having been on both sides of the thin vs. fat battle (120lbs and 190lbs) yes, being thin is nice.  Being able to fit into just about anything at the store is wonderful.  Being thin makes shopping (which I hate doing) much easier.  But sacrificing your sense of self and your self-love in order to become thin?  Totally NOT worth it for even a second.  Because the truth is, no matter how thin you become, it will never be enough for you if don't love and respect yourself to begin with.  Accept where you are now.  Love yourself as you are now.  Learn to make you enough.  And the rest will come and go as it's supposed to.

Alright, off my soap box, for now.

Happy Thursday,

~j.b.

number 18

Being that it is New Years Eve -- and New Years, in some countries -- I thought I'd look back and look forward a bit here.  This has been a trying year.  Lots of medical crap to figure out, and lots of emotional...err, stuff to sort through.  I've mended bridges between friends and myself, and have truly begun down a path of figuring out what is really important to me.  I've severed ties with people who are no good for me or my health, and tightened attachments to people who help me soar.  When the whole story is considered, this has been a wonderful year, as many of them are in retrospect.  This being said, I think my main goal for the coming year to keep this state of mind during the year.  To hold on to the tiny moments that make the year worthwhile when looking back on it.

I just found this article (link opens in new window) and a couple of key points really struck home with me.  As the title of my entry suggests, number 18 really hit home.  For as long as I can remember, the past has plagued me.  As has my anger toward people from my past for things done and said.  I have already begun working toward letting this anger go.  I believe my work for 2012 is to continue releasing this and to live an anger-free existence.  Not free of feelings of anger and frustration about the present, but free...

Let's see here.  I wrote the rest of this post here this morning while apparently the interwebs were behaving terribly, and the remainder of my post was lost.  I was a good ending, too.  C'est la vie.  It happens.  Guess this sort of just plays into my whole theme for the New Year, doesn't it?  And if I can't let this go...wow, am I in for a terrible year!  Haha!

It's about an hour from the "Ball Drop", which I won't be watching, because we do not have cable -- because I'm not allowed to watch commercials (they make me mad).  So, for all of you reading this tonight, have a wonderful end to 2011!  And for those who will not be reading this until tomorrow or the next day, I hope your ending to 2011 was as epic or relaxed as you wanted it to be.

Happy New Years!
~j.b. 

Big foot...

I can't tell you how frustrated I am currently.  Not only have I not published a blog post in what feels like weeks, I don't even have anything non-bloggy to show for my absence. 

With X-mas hurdling very quickly in our direction, I have been swamped with present wrapping and migraine fighting (Yes, I'm aware these are not technically holiday related).  Plus, I've been helping out my mom who has been fighting the flu for the past week and a half.  We are unfortunately not going to be able to do X-mas dinner at my parents' house this year.  Fortunately, we have two huge lasagnas we can bring over to the in-laws for dinner and catch up with family there.  Not the same, but still fun.

I have been doing a bit of knitting the past week or so.  Started a pair of socks for Jon, and discovered that the yarn that was sold as a sock-weight is actually more of a light-fingering weight, and does not work well as sock fabric.  So, I ordered this:

from knitpicks a couple days ago.  I've never ordered from them, before.  I genuinely believe in supporting my LYS's, so ordering online for yarn was not the easiest decision for me.  I look at it this way, though.  I have only so much energy.  Period.  And once it's gone, it can take me quite a long time to regain it.  With all the X-mas shopping I've been doing, and the prep and the migraines!!!  Well, I just don't have time to run down to my LYS to buy a skien of yarn.  However much I may really really want to.  So, I ordered it.  Yes, they undercut the local shops.  Tremendously.  And no, I don't like that.  I also don't like having Fibromyalgia and chronic daily migraines.  So, let's not get too picky here, okay?

I also found some lovelies for myself. 

The color name is Guava and it's a wool/silk blend that looks amazing.  The only issue is that I do not currently own a swift or ball winder.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that these will be under someone's tree for me. 

And last, but not least, I found this:

It's name is Sasquach.  And no, this was not the inspiration for the title of this post.  I'll get to that in a minute.  lol.

So, These lovelies and a couple pair of 2mm DPN's will be arriving around the 29th of December.  I personally can not wait until I get this box.  Yarn, arriving in the mail.  What a concept!  I could get used to this!  What's that noise?  It's my bank account crying.

Now for the whole purpose of this post.  I started my sock, last night, actually.  And I have managed to get quite a few rows done.  I was just over at my MIL's house a couple hours ago and she mentioned that it looked awfully small and she didn't think it would fit me.  I came home, slipped it onto a long cabled circular and found this:

I, apparently have gigantic feet.  Who knew?

Happy Frogging,
~j.b.

thirty days of grace...

I know, two blog posts published in one day.  I must be on a roll.

I just found a blog.  And it set an idea in motion.  Bear with me while I explain the thinking behind this one.

My life -- as many are -- is crazy-hard right now.  It has been for the last 7 years.  Yes, there have been good amazing times.  Marrying the love of my life, for one...patching my long-term relationship with my best friend of 20 years...Mending the much torn relationship with my mom -- love you so much, mom.  And there have been heart-aches and breaks along the way.  Many of which, I just do not talk about for fear of completely breaking down in front of other people.  And they may -- at this point, at least -- make me a little too vulnerable to mention here.  Plus, I honestly choose to focus on the positive.  So...

For the next 30 days -- until the 3rd of January -- I will publish one post a day which focuses on the positive aspects of my life.  This will not be easy for me.  This will be a huge stretch.  I am not practiced at keeping commitments I make to myself.  Something "better" always comes up.  And by "better" I actually mean pain and fatigue.  And with this in mind -- and I will be "tested" -- I am going to keep this  commitment to myself, and you.  Every day.  And on those days where I just do not feel up to doing this...I will still manage to.

My mom always said, as I was growing up, that "I can do this miserably or gracefully".  Taking this into consideration as an adult, I can either take life, and all it's hardships and wonders miserably or gracefully.  I choose grace.

 *  Today, I am grateful for...

*  Our first fire in our fire-place, even though we smoked out our upstairs and set off the smoke-detector.  Hell, at least we know it works now.

*  Going on a nice long walk with Jon.  It was bright and sunny and crisp outside.  A true late fall day.  It reminded me of living with my grandmother when I was 18.  That was a long time ago.

*  Being able to work on my granny-stripe blanket today, until I noticed a tiny little paper cut exactly where I hold the yarn in my right hand!  (I am left-handed, by the way)

one more...

*  Curling up in the afghan my grandmother (different one) made for my parents nearly 40 years ago when they were first married.  My mom gave it to me last week, and it is a lovely gift.

Alright...I think this is a good start.  I will "see" you tomorrow.  Possibly in the morning, but definitely tomorrow. 

A Graceful Saturday-night to all,
~j.b.